Obscurity 

Obscurity 
  
  
Ob-scu-ri-ty –noun 
The state of being unknown, inconspicuous, or unimportant. 
  
Have you ever been led to the place obscurity? Where life or career has caused you to be so disappointed that you felt yourself drawing away to a place of obscurity? I know that I certainly have. But, I have also experienced a season where God led me to a place of obscurity and anonymity. It happened a few years ago, I had just released a new CD and should have been focusing on getting bookings and being on the road and all of the business that comes with music and speaking ministry life. All of a sudden I had a sense of “I don’t want to do this anymore”. Trying to “get yourself out there” and speak and sing in such a way that pleases people just became too hard and I just quit. Now when you spend thousands of dollars in recording a new project, quitting is something that you don’t consider because you have to pay for the thing. But still, I just sat down and quit and other than doing just a couple of events and churches that I new already loved me, I no longer looked to fill dates. 
  
Honestly, I really feel like God was having me walk through a journey of shutting down, not being so public and learning to please only Him for a season. I have always been an extrovert by nature but I found myself wanting to be alone and away from people and crowds. God then began to take me deeper: deeper in prayer, deeper in the Word and learning to experience His presence in a fresh, new way. I love my prayer times with the Lord but will wait at times until everyone leaves the house because I can tend to be a bit of a wailer in prayer. It is just how I roll. I needed to learn the value of what I do again and I needed to regain a passion for it. I can tell you today that I am getting there and after two and a half years I am ready to move forward again. I don’t know what that will look like or what all that will entail but my spirit is full and I feel like I have something to say. Even if it’s teaching a Bible study at our church or filling in for my pastor/husband while he is overseas, may I find myself willing for the task at hand. 
  
If you have been there like I have and you find yourself in an obscure place, it just may be the best thing that you could ever experience. Get alone with God, let Him show the realness of who you are and who He is in you. Then gather the courage to go and do great things. Until next time...

Changes 

I've always wondered if I am really one that can embrace change. At times I wish that I could have lived my adult life in one town, raise my kids there and just grow old. But that never happened. In fact, my grandmother used to tell my mom, "that Pam is going to live out of a suitcase one day." I'm not so sure how she came to that conclusion unless it came from my praddling on about how I was going to travel and sing one day. She was so gracious to tolerate me and without really knowing, spoke prophetically about my life.

Doug and I recently returned to Cumberland, MD to pastor a church that he actually was pastor of before, from 1999 to 2007. It's still hard for me to wrap my head around, that we are actually back here for round two. To be honest, my goal was to try and take a church in the south where the weather is warmer and could be a place that we would consider retiring to. The Book of Proverbs talks about our making our own plans but it is God who determines our steps. So when the Cumberland church called, it was very difficult for me to see our coming back as the actual plan of God. But every other door that we approached closed almost immediately. Coming back here for me personally wasn't an easy decision, requiring a great leap of faith....one that I wasn't sure I was ready for. But I am glad that we did return, return to see God show His faithfulness to all of us. He always has the greater plan, simply because He really is a good, good Father. I have determined that this time around, I will take my time and allow Him to show me where my place is and just enjoy the journey.

Our son, Kyle also had some major changes in the past few months. He left for the Navy only to be sent home a month later being told that his knee is too damaged for the Navy to invest in. He is currently trying to find his place and purpose and has taken on the challenge. Our daughter Kacy has decided to leave Florida Southern and transfer to Frostburg State University and commute from home. She feels compelled to be here out of excitement of what God is doing and going to do in our church. I literally went from an empty nest, to one that is completely full again and I am embracing the change.

I don't know what changes you might be facing but I do know that you can trust our God to see you through them and maybe end up enjoying the journey of a life time. You can trust Him...plain and simple.

Hope 

Welcome to my new blog! I have a little anxiety about starting a blog in fear of having nothing to say. But, I've always been a "share from your heart" sort of gal, so here goes.

My heart has been focused on hope recently and not letting it go. So many things can transpire in our lives that we just didn't see coming and we wonder if hope will ever be alive in us again. I believe that it can. I'm nearing the big 50 in age and have to admit that I just haven't lived the life that I thought would be my destiny. My husband and I both know that I am a romanticizer and can get a clear picture in my head how something should go for us but more than likely it just doesn't work out. Does that stop me from romanticizing the next thing? Of course not. I have come to believe that hope is something incredibly powerful and I have it abiding deep inside of me. So, I try to switch my focus on to all of the incredible things and people that I have in my life and just be grateful for where I am. My Heavenly Father has me right where he wants me so I need not be frustrated. Doug and I have committed our lives to ministry and what God thinks I need is what will be. But while I am waiting on the next step of my journey, I also try and think on the promises given to me in His Word like: " Yet I am confident that I will see the LORD'S goodness while I am here in the land of the living."
Psalm 27:13 (NLT)

This puts my heart as ease because I know that God doesn't waste promises. He is full of goodness and wants the best in our lives to be fulfilled. If you are in despair today, don't give up on hope. Keep trusting and keep believing that there is a bigger plan out there for you than you can even begin to imagine. When you are having a blue day, let your thoughts be given over to sweet verses like this: "So I pray that God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in Him. May you overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 (NLT)