Obscurity
Ob-scu-ri-ty –noun
The state of being unknown, inconspicuous, or unimportant.
Have you ever been led to the place obscurity? Where life or career has caused you to be so disappointed that you felt yourself drawing away to a place of obscurity? I know that I certainly have. But, I have also experienced a season where God led me to a place of obscurity and anonymity. It happened a few years ago, I had just released a new CD and should have been focusing on getting bookings and being on the road and all of the business that comes with music and speaking ministry life. All of a sudden I had a sense of “I don’t want to do this anymore”. Trying to “get yourself out there” and speak and sing in such a way that pleases people just became too hard and I just quit. Now when you spend thousands of dollars in recording a new project, quitting is something that you don’t consider because you have to pay for the thing. But still, I just sat down and quit and other than doing just a couple of events and churches that I new already loved me, I no longer looked to fill dates.
Honestly, I really feel like God was having me walk through a journey of shutting down, not being so public and learning to please only Him for a season. I have always been an extrovert by nature but I found myself wanting to be alone and away from people and crowds. God then began to take me deeper: deeper in prayer, deeper in the Word and learning to experience His presence in a fresh, new way. I love my prayer times with the Lord but will wait at times until everyone leaves the house because I can tend to be a bit of a wailer in prayer. It is just how I roll. I needed to learn the value of what I do again and I needed to regain a passion for it. I can tell you today that I am getting there and after two and a half years I am ready to move forward again. I don’t know what that will look like or what all that will entail but my spirit is full and I feel like I have something to say. Even if it’s teaching a Bible study at our church or filling in for my pastor/husband while he is overseas, may I find myself willing for the task at hand.
If you have been there like I have and you find yourself in an obscure place, it just may be the best thing that you could ever experience. Get alone with God, let Him show the realness of who you are and who He is in you. Then gather the courage to go and do great things. Until next time...